


Always by Vulcan Lover

by KSForever



Category: Star Trek TOS or TOS AU
Genre: After The Voyage Home, Angst, Erotica, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10356420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSForever/pseuds/KSForever
Summary: After TVH, Spock recollects when he first knew of his being in love with Jim.Categories: FictionCharacters: NoneCrossover Fandom: NoneGenres: Kirk/Spock SlashOther Languages: NoneStory Type: Angst, Erotica, Hurt/Comfort, RomanceTrope (OPTIONAL): NoneUniverse: AU Alternate Universe, ST:TOS Original UniverseWarnings: NoneSeries: NoneChapters: 1 Table of ContentsCompleted: Yes Word count: 1104 Read Count: 567





	

**Author's Note:**

> After TVH, Spock recollects when he first knew of his being in love with Jim.
> 
> Categories: Fiction  
> Characters: None  
> Crossover Fandom: None  
> Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash  
> Other Languages: None  
> Story Type: Angst, Erotica, Hurt/Comfort, Romance  
> Trope (OPTIONAL): None  
> Universe: AU Alternate Universe, ST:TOS Original Universe  
> Warnings: None  
> Series: None  
> Chapters: 1 Table of Contents  
> Completed: Yes Word count: 1104 Read Count: 567

Always

“Spock, what was that?” Jim reached out further to Spock, as they lay on the bed side by side.

“A memory has just returned. That is all.” Spock noted, looking into the eyes of his T’hy’la.

In the months since the Fal-tor-pan, some memories returned gradually, some all of a sudden.

“You loved me even then?” Jim braved talking about the memory he knew had just crossed Spock’s mind. He realised, simultaneously, that Spock must have sheltered him from this knowledge before; Spock only ever kept things from him, or obscured him from more certain knowledge of a thing, to shelter him.

“Yes.” Spock noted, shyly somehow. “During our time in nineteen thirties New York, I first realised I was in love with you.”

“I was telling you I was in love with Edith Keeler, and you just listened, and didn’t say a word.” Jim fathomed.

“I am Vulcan.” Spock reminded his love. “And, I did not want you to think, even for a second, that I told you about the timeline issues because I wanted Edith Keeler to die. I did not.”

“Oh, Ashaya!” Jim immediately caressed Spock’s face. “I know that!” He promised. “I would have always known that.”

Spock touched Jim’s face, as Jim still touched his. “I’m sorry. I know that you still feel guilt, because I believed that my love for you was unrequited for so many years.” Spock had known that he had thought that for what humans would term as ‘a long while’ – yet, just now, he’d recalled the exact moment it started – in the period of time they spent in nineteen thirties U.S.A, Earth.

“For Heaven’s sake, you beautiful person…” Jim said, into the room in which they lay, and, mostly, into the meld, growing even now, between their minds. “Don’t apologise!” Jim told Spock resolutely, his love rushing forward to Spock.

“You should not either – even if my assumptions hadn’t been wrong; you cannot apologise for living your life, for every step, and what you felt along the way.” Spock assured Jim.

“You should listen to your own words, truly, Spock.” Jim said lovingly.

“We were; we are still, Captain and Commander. We cannot forget that, Jim.” Spock reiterated.

“We never will.” It was Jim’s turn to assure Spock. “We never did, and we never will.”

“Yet, that does not mean that our love cannot exist, does it?” Spock was compelled to ask, and he did not supress it, because, though he considered that he should, he knew Jim would know it was not because he was faltering in any way, that he asked it.

“Our love will always exist.” Jim smiled into their bond.

Their hands twined and caressed. The O’zhesta unfurled between them, and, again, their lips kissed. It was so new again, because Spock had at last come to Jim, figuring out even more of what the computer had asked him, in the question ‘How do you feel?’, when they’d still been waiting to face the court martial on Earth. It hadn’t known. Spock was sure the programmer wasn’t privy to this information about his and Jim’s personal life. Very few people were, and Jim and Spock had been told to be more than discreet about it – so, Spock had half expected his superiors to use this as another excuse to punish Jim for taking, and then, destroying, the original Enterprise. He was so grateful to be proved wrong. This man had faced so much for him; had lost so much along the way, and yet, Spock still felt so very loved by him… “Let me show you how I love you…” He said, as his and Jim’s minds and bodies touched again. He’d denied himself for so long, denied the love he felt, as every good Vulcan has to do. Yet, now that they were together, back together even, he knew that Jim was, at last, the one person in Existence with whom he was allowed to be totally honest.

“Of course.” Jim grinned, kissing and suckling on Spock’s fingers. He knew that Spock rejoiced in being allowed to show someone that he loved them at all, and that that person was his lover, was another reason for him to rejoice; for them both to do so. And though, at first, Jim had feared that Spock wouldn’t remember all their loving moments; ‘only’ that they were in love; now, Spock was beginning to know that their firsts together here, were not necessarily their firsts ever. Jim was grateful for that, because he had been beginning to think that Spock wouldn’t recall that now, or admit to it at least. Jim was so glad that Spock had, yet he’d (Jim had) definitely gone through a period of grieving for what he thought were moments only he would remember. Now, Spock was in the delicious phase, of still feeling as though all their moments of Bliss were new, and yet, knowing that they’d got this far before; recalling some of their cherished times together, and knowing that he would eventually know them all for himself, entirely without Jim’s help. Jim walked with him through this mix of memories and feelings, afresh and familiar at the same time. It was invigorating to them both.

Spock responded by placing another kiss on Jim’s lips, meandering it down his throat, his neck; massaging his shoulders, pressing their bodies together with his warm, firm, and yet, gentle grip. Instinctual. Naturally talented, beginning to remember.

Jim responded, making sure he managed to be somewhat gradual – even though he knew that through the mind meld, Spock could tell what was going to happen next as such – Jim didn’t want to throw Spock off his rhythm.

The love making built between them; Spock grinding onto Jim’s flesh; Jim grinding his hips into Spock’s, knowing soon that they’d move over, move around the bed, and that Spock would enter Jim this time.

“I love you…” Spock pledged to his T’hy’la, James T. Kirk.

“I love you.” Jim vowed to his T’hy’la, Spock.

“Tu Dena Val…” Spock responded, his kisses deepening and quickening.

“And I am devoted to you, my love.” Jim answered, brushing Spock’s hair from his elegant Vulcan face, and seeing, so deeply, into those eyes, and that soul. His own, too – and he knew the moment, the feeling, was mutual. That was what they did for each other. Always.

The End..?  
29.2.16


End file.
